A Few Quick Reminders!
In case you needed a bit of joy going into your family gatherings, here are some things that might be helpful.
Hey, folks!
I’m spending the week getting some much-needed rest, so in lieu of a normal newsletter, I wanted to send you all a few quick reminders for finding joy wherever you may be in the world right now.
1. Be intentional about your news intake! As we continue to gear up for the incoming administration, there are plenty of things to be afraid of, angry about, etc. We cannot expect ourselves to be hyper-aware of every bad thing happening at all times. This is not humanly possible (especially not without making ourselves miserable). The news is a tool for staying informed that we can and should use at our discretion. The news is not, however: pleasant background noise, entertainment, or a way to “wind down”. Find other things that check these boxes for you!
2. Come prepared with a self-regulation toolkit. Make a list on your phone or on some paper of 10 things that help you feel a little better when you’re upset or overwhelmed. Distractions, supports, human needs (snacks), etc. Then, if you find yourself faced with a challenging situation, instead of trying to come up with a list of what might help, you have some options you can just react to.
3. All reality is subjective. Most of our experiences are a mixture of good and bad, and you get to decide which you want to focus on. If you are expecting to have a bad time at a family gathering, you will search for evidence that you are having a bad time, you will find evidence you are having a bad time, and you will be much more likely to store those bad memories, and to overall feel like you had a bad time. In short: If you decide you are going to have a bad time, you will have a bad time. Try to keep a tally of the number of times you laughed, the number of people who got your pronouns right, etc. You get to choose where to focus your attention.
4. If you truly cannot find anything good, happy, or funny, at a family gathering, let this serve as your doctor’s note: you are excused. At some point, family is supposed to be about love and respect, and if those things aren’t in the room, maybe you shouldn’t be going to that gathering.
5. Don’t jump to assuming hateful intent. We cannot in the same breath talk about the 215 million dollar misinformation campaign about trans folks and sports/healthcare and then talk about the absolute bigotry of those who are concerned about trans folks and sports/healthcare/etc. Misinformation is meant to look believable, and $215 mil is going to have an impact. Even many of the folks who voted for Trump are living in a vastly different media landscape and might genuinely not have been seeing/believing some of the things we’ve been stressing about for months.
Okay, that’s it for me folks! Keeping it short and sweet.
Much Love,
Ben