A Major Win, A Major Loss, and What you Can Do

What matters more? Passports, Skrmetti, and Global Protests.

I know the news lately has been nothing sort of brutal, and it’s certainly been compounded by the rampant fearmongering on social media. Something particularly interesting to me is that when I posted about our major victory on passports, I got a few comments and messages saying “how could you be celebrating right now we just had such a big loss?” But when I wrote a post about Skrmetti, and I looked at other posts about the ruling, there were no comments that said "how could you be grieving right now, we just had such a big victory?“

I really want us to notice our assumption that bad news must always cancel out the meaning of good news, but that good news does not ever have the same power. Kind of like how on the iPhone's weather app, if even 30 minutes of the day are going to be cloudy or rainy, the icon that represents the entire day is a raincloud. Even if 23.5 hours are going to be clear sunshine! Even about the weather, you might notice yourself thinking "but it's so much more important to know about rain than it is about sun, because I actually have something I need to do then."

And this is a problem I've noticed in our mindsets and our movements. We haven't been trained to react to good news. We don't have plans, or reactions, and we certainly don't have required actions.

When the bad weather comes, we put on our rainboots and we make choices that are a little extra kind to ourselves. We entreat each other to take time off to grieve bad news, to "feel our feelings", to allow ourselves a little extra grace. And I think this is great! But I notice that people rarely remind us to "feel our feelings" when the feelings are joy, gratitude, love, or safety.

This is something we've been trained to do, This also means we can train ourselves to do something different through repetition, visual reminders, and daily choices.

To use our weather analogy again: don't treat sunshine as a neutral forecast. Treat it as a gift, as an action item to take a walk in the park, or to rush your plants to the windows, or to schedule a picnic with people you love.

When you hear about good news, give yourself time to be joyful about it, even if there's bad news too. Maybe take a little time to slow down and celebrate. Pick one person who played a role in the good news and find a way to thank them deeply. Imagine someone who will be most directly impacted by this positive news and think about what this means for them.

We should let both the bad news and the good news drive us to action. I don't just take to the streets or feel reinvigorated by rage alone, but also by fiery hope that's bolstered by hard-won joy.

As you go through today’s piece, I want you to spend some time reflecting on and noticing how much weight you give bad news versus good news. Let yourself feel the good news.

The Wins this Week

Starting off with a personal win, yesterday marked SIX YEARS since my top surgery! This surgery allowed me to become an active participant in my own life in such a beautiful way. I will do everything I can to keep fighting for everyone’s right to build a home in their body, and that includes taking time to slow down and celebrate how much further I’ve come than I ever thought I could.

Ben ~1 week post op and 6 years post op. The joy is radiant in both pictures, I’m just more of a beefcake now

This week, we've had some major victories. Most notably, on passports! This is a HUGE deal. A federal judge has ruled that in the transgender passport case, which originally only applied only to the named plaintiffs, the case now has class status. Meaning access to affirming passports is restored for all transgender US citizens!! (ACLU, 6/17) **Those hoping to apply for updated markers should do so based on their own risk tolerance. We don’t know for certain how this will be followed or how long it will last, but you should be able to get it changed. I would recommend (as a person, not as a lawyer, which I am not) paying to expedite this process if you can. If you face challenges, contact the ACLU!

Yes, this ruling is temporary and subject to appeals, but the name of the game in our fight right now is harm reduction and survival. If we can open up a window for many folks to get affirming legal documents, however long it may be for, that's a huge win in my book. Also, I really appreciate the huge number of federal judges who aren't making their rulings in a vacuum and are pointing out directly that the cases are deeply rooted in the federal government's outright animus for the transgender community. The animus isn't good news, obviously, but the recognition of that animus and its inclusion in decision making is really meaningful.

Also, last weekend, No Kings Day protests swept the country, and

Antonia Scatton

wrote a really gorgeous post with some reflections about what the size and scale of those protests meant. I highly recommend checking that out. To pull out a quote to recap:

“We’ve heard a lot lately about research that shows that non-violent protest by 3.5% of a population has never failed to achieve change. I think we reached that 3.5% yesterday, and I'll be damned if it doesn't feel like the tide has turned.”

I think she’s spot on. The energy at the protest, and the knowledge of how many people were showing up across many different movements coming together to agree that something has to change, felt really beautiful to me. It felt transformative for me, for the first-time protestors standing next to me, and for the country.

What can you do?

There’s probably a lot of emotions swirling around right now. Did the protests stir up empowerment? Did the ruling stir up grief or despair? Are you holding fear, or exhaustion, or rage in your body?

Whatever you might be feeling, good or bad, let us use this as a call to respond. First and foremost, you must take a second to assess how you’re doing. What do you need right now? What is your energy level? Do you feel safe right now? What kind of care do you need and how can you provide it to yourself or get it from your community?

Once you know what you’re working with, here’s a roundup of some ideas for how to show up right now.

• Donate to and/or follow the organizations shared by

  Aidan Wharton
  yesterday

• Sign up to send or receive letters (or both!!) from the Pinta Pride Letters from allies project! I get letters every week and have them all hung up on the walls of my office. They are so heartfelt and truly keep me going.

• If you loved the No Kings movement, check out their compilation of “what’s next?” resources and webinars: https://www.nokings.org/next

• Pick a trans friend you have, any trans friend, and send them a Venmo for $10 for coffee or ice cream. It’s been a long week.

• Pick a local LGBTQ+ serving nonprofit. Ask them if you can bring/order cookies to their office, or send them a gift card to a local coffeeshop (bonus points if it’s a queer owned business!)

• Find out when the next meeting of a local LGBTQ+ organization is. Attend and ask what you can do to help.

• Pick a non-trans friend and ask if they’ve heard about the latest supreme court ruling. In a highly misinformation-driven climate with lots of polar messaging about the trans community, spreading the word about the attacks on trans folks and their healthcare is critical. Especially from allies! Not sure what to say? that’s ok! Check out this guide.

• Go purchase a copy (or check it out of your library, or request your library care) of the new biography of Marsha P. Johnson! It’s incredible to feel rooted into our history of joy and fighting back.

• Search for additional educational opportunities, like this webinar I’m hosting next Tuesday on the Role of Joy in Social Movements through History! Even if you can’t make it, RSVP and you’ll get access to the recording!

• Pick a trans artist (my personal favorite is Cavetown) and spend a piece of your afternoon going for a walk and listening to their music. Pick two different songs to send to a friend and say “I think you’d like this!”

  That’s all for today folks.

  I hope you have a lovely weekend. There will always be more fighting to do, and we’ll always have a role in it, but I hope you also take some time to slow down and rest. I want you in this as long as you can be.

  Don’t forget to keep searching for the joy. It’s out there.

  All my love,

  Ben