This really resonated with me. I talk a lot about queer joy and the importance of finding it, particularly when the world seems determined to give us reasons not to. But I think there’s something really important in acknowledging that choosing joy doesn’t mean we have to be joyful all the time.
We’re allowed to be angry. We’re allowed to be frightened, exhausted, frustrated, or just have a day where everything feels a bit too damn much. None of that means we’ve somehow lost our joy or given up hope.
I really loved what you said about the difference between pain and hopelessness, because I think that’s something I’ve been trying to articulate myself. We can recognise that something hurts. We can grieve it. We can be furious about it. And still believe that things can change.
Maybe queer joy isn’t always dancing, celebrating and being defiantly visible. Sometimes it’s much quieter than that. Sometimes it’s simply refusing to let a bad day convince us that there aren’t better ones ahead.
A very moving article that I hope helps a lot of others struggling right now. It's reassuring to me too to see someone who is struggling with being compassionate in this era but persevering regardless.
Also, so glad The Narcissist Cookbook is getting more love! About a year ago I set that song to be my alarm because the reminder in it is that important to me.
This is an absolute gem of an article! You’ve touched on SO many helpful words of inspiration and actions that help to shift mood - saved this one to come back to so that I can send to folks who need to hear ❤️
This really resonated with me. I talk a lot about queer joy and the importance of finding it, particularly when the world seems determined to give us reasons not to. But I think there’s something really important in acknowledging that choosing joy doesn’t mean we have to be joyful all the time.
We’re allowed to be angry. We’re allowed to be frightened, exhausted, frustrated, or just have a day where everything feels a bit too damn much. None of that means we’ve somehow lost our joy or given up hope.
I really loved what you said about the difference between pain and hopelessness, because I think that’s something I’ve been trying to articulate myself. We can recognise that something hurts. We can grieve it. We can be furious about it. And still believe that things can change.
Maybe queer joy isn’t always dancing, celebrating and being defiantly visible. Sometimes it’s much quieter than that. Sometimes it’s simply refusing to let a bad day convince us that there aren’t better ones ahead.
A very moving article that I hope helps a lot of others struggling right now. It's reassuring to me too to see someone who is struggling with being compassionate in this era but persevering regardless.
Also, so glad The Narcissist Cookbook is getting more love! About a year ago I set that song to be my alarm because the reminder in it is that important to me.
What a beautiful article, Ben. As you radiate love and joy, know also that you are loved!
This is an absolute gem of an article! You’ve touched on SO many helpful words of inspiration and actions that help to shift mood - saved this one to come back to so that I can send to folks who need to hear ❤️