Thank you for being so open. I completely agree about what you said regarding the heaviness in your heart. It’s in those moments of being human - all of the feelings - where if you can observe it, it can be beautiful in its human way.
Your tenderness and grief is as much a gift to the world as your joy. Thank you so much for staying in the fight (for trans rights, and the fight to be alive, whole, and in touch with your humanity), and just as much as you have many eyes looking up to you, I hope you feel that you have many hands to support you and lift you up. ❤️🩹🫂
I have been feeling this too lately. Thank you for being honest—I think it actually helps me gauge that I’m not just “off” for some reason. This is the normal human way to feel.
Anyway, I’m sending out a virtual cis mom hug for any trans (or otherwise!) folk who need one. 💜
This cis mom really appreciates your whole you! You help me understand and empathize with my transgender daughter so thank you, thank you! I’m sending you a big virtual 🥰
There is a great deal of wisdom, beyond information, and clarity of hope in this piece. How very important it is to toss away all the “shoulds” and “shouldn'ts," and to embrace the beauty that you are enough.
You have described perfectly how I have been feeling lately. I too have been trying to do each of the things you mentioned to help keep me grounded and in my own world where I actually have an impact. I can't solve the words problems. I can't solve all of the problems in the US or my state. But I can have an impact by focusing on what I CAN do. I can go to local Coty Council meetings and county commissioner meetings to push for change locally. And with consistency, it has been working. Eventually I will try to run for one of the positions or perhaps something at the state level. I am in the process of finding where I would like to run.
Just because one person holds hope does not mean that they don’t feel pain, grief or sorrow. Nor that will they won’t have bad days. Being a beacon of hope is an important role to play. It’s important to remember that with all the bad there is still good to be found, but it does not erase the bad that exists, and we have to find a way to balance the two. Having hope and being a light is not mean, ignoring the bad it means seeing the bad and choosing to find the good, which is so hard, especially in times like these. Keep up the good work feel the feels, good or bad. You’re doing great.
Thank you so much Ben. It has been an especially difficult two weeks as we as a family sit with questions about whether to remain in a state that keeps tidal wave crashing oppressive and dehumanizing Trans bills, or perhaps uproot and move our family elsewhere. I appreciate this article so much, and will share it with my kiddo to bolster his mood. Will definitely be registering for your pflag meeting and spending time today out in nature allowing the magic of the interconnected world to speak to my heart.
Even without the barrage of bad news, I’ve been struggling. Not happy to know that you are too, but grateful to read your strategies on how to move through this time. Thank you
YES! Joy isn't a cure or an immunization to ward off the pain and sorrow. It can help us seek balance, navigate our bad days, and find our way out of the hardest times when we emerge from a season of lament. I wrote my blog about joy in activism in May 2025, a mere three months before my mother suddenly fell ill from a condition that proved fatal a month after that. It felt like I'd never feel joyful again. But how prescient it was that I used an image of me and the character Joy from the movie Inside Out for that blog. I came to realize that seeing the beauty in the joyful memories, now also tinged with sorrow (just like the core memories in the movie) were part of the completeness of love and life. It's our love that leads us to the greatest of emotions from joy to despair. You are a person of great love, so it doesn't surprise me that you're going to need to feel ALL the feels in these chaotic times. But we can do that together, right? https://ccylevin.substack.com/p/can-joy-make-us-better-activists
Thank you for sharing what you are feeling. You have built a brand of positivity, so I know admitting the constant attack on the trans community is getting you down. Please know you are loved and supported.
Thank you for being so open. I completely agree about what you said regarding the heaviness in your heart. It’s in those moments of being human - all of the feelings - where if you can observe it, it can be beautiful in its human way.
Your tenderness and grief is as much a gift to the world as your joy. Thank you so much for staying in the fight (for trans rights, and the fight to be alive, whole, and in touch with your humanity), and just as much as you have many eyes looking up to you, I hope you feel that you have many hands to support you and lift you up. ❤️🩹🫂
I have been feeling this too lately. Thank you for being honest—I think it actually helps me gauge that I’m not just “off” for some reason. This is the normal human way to feel.
Anyway, I’m sending out a virtual cis mom hug for any trans (or otherwise!) folk who need one. 💜
I look forward to your PFLAG presentation!
~PFLAG Seattle Mom
This cis mom really appreciates your whole you! You help me understand and empathize with my transgender daughter so thank you, thank you! I’m sending you a big virtual 🥰
There is a great deal of wisdom, beyond information, and clarity of hope in this piece. How very important it is to toss away all the “shoulds” and “shouldn'ts," and to embrace the beauty that you are enough.
You have described perfectly how I have been feeling lately. I too have been trying to do each of the things you mentioned to help keep me grounded and in my own world where I actually have an impact. I can't solve the words problems. I can't solve all of the problems in the US or my state. But I can have an impact by focusing on what I CAN do. I can go to local Coty Council meetings and county commissioner meetings to push for change locally. And with consistency, it has been working. Eventually I will try to run for one of the positions or perhaps something at the state level. I am in the process of finding where I would like to run.
Thank you so much for this. I have been struggling myself with wanting to stay informed yet also being overwhelmed by everything.
Just because one person holds hope does not mean that they don’t feel pain, grief or sorrow. Nor that will they won’t have bad days. Being a beacon of hope is an important role to play. It’s important to remember that with all the bad there is still good to be found, but it does not erase the bad that exists, and we have to find a way to balance the two. Having hope and being a light is not mean, ignoring the bad it means seeing the bad and choosing to find the good, which is so hard, especially in times like these. Keep up the good work feel the feels, good or bad. You’re doing great.
Love you, Ben. Thank you for this. Needed it. ❤️
Thank you so much Ben. It has been an especially difficult two weeks as we as a family sit with questions about whether to remain in a state that keeps tidal wave crashing oppressive and dehumanizing Trans bills, or perhaps uproot and move our family elsewhere. I appreciate this article so much, and will share it with my kiddo to bolster his mood. Will definitely be registering for your pflag meeting and spending time today out in nature allowing the magic of the interconnected world to speak to my heart.
Love your work and your vision, Ben. Thank you for bringing us in.
Daffodils push through the leaf litter. Spring will spring soon!
Even without the barrage of bad news, I’ve been struggling. Not happy to know that you are too, but grateful to read your strategies on how to move through this time. Thank you
YES! Joy isn't a cure or an immunization to ward off the pain and sorrow. It can help us seek balance, navigate our bad days, and find our way out of the hardest times when we emerge from a season of lament. I wrote my blog about joy in activism in May 2025, a mere three months before my mother suddenly fell ill from a condition that proved fatal a month after that. It felt like I'd never feel joyful again. But how prescient it was that I used an image of me and the character Joy from the movie Inside Out for that blog. I came to realize that seeing the beauty in the joyful memories, now also tinged with sorrow (just like the core memories in the movie) were part of the completeness of love and life. It's our love that leads us to the greatest of emotions from joy to despair. You are a person of great love, so it doesn't surprise me that you're going to need to feel ALL the feels in these chaotic times. But we can do that together, right? https://ccylevin.substack.com/p/can-joy-make-us-better-activists
Thank you for sharing what you are feeling. You have built a brand of positivity, so I know admitting the constant attack on the trans community is getting you down. Please know you are loved and supported.